Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?

A: A blow job with handlebars.

Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?

A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws?

A: Practice.

Q: What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?

A: A whine and cheese party.

Q: Why do blondes like convertibles?

A: More leg room.

Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?

A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.

Q: What is a blonde girl with huge lungs especially good for?

A: The Jacuzzi.

Q: What did the blind blonde say as she was making love with her new boyfriend?

A: "Funny, you don't feel Jewish."

Q: Why did the blonde refuse brain surgery?

A: Her boyfriend already gave her enough head.

Q: What do you call a blonde that can suck a golfball through a water hose?

A:Sweetheart!

Q: What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?

A: They both got fucked by ten men while on vacation.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?

A: He knows who the ten men were.

Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out of a blonde's mouth?

A: Einstein's dick.

Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?

A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.

Q: What does 'XXX' stand for?

A: Blondes co-signing a note.

Q: How did you know a blonde would do it for change?

A: Maybe she thinks pennies are easier to count than dollar bills.

Q: Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle?

A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'

Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?

A: Silicone chips.

Q: Do blondes smoke after sex?

A: "Dunno, I never looked."

Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned for use in blondes?

A: They cause too much brain damage.

Q: Why did the blonde law student keep failing her bar exam?

A: She thought an anti-trust suit was a chastity belt.

Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?

A: To keep the swelling down.

Q: Why do blonde's rub their eyes when they wake up?

A: They don't have balls to scratch.

Q: What do blonde's have against condoms?

A: Their cheeks.

Q: What do you feed a blonde who is a virgin?

A: Baby food.

Q: Why do blonde's have vaginas?

A: So guys will talk to them at parties.

Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"

A: "No, I just lie there."

Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes in a corner?

A: You don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms.

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?

A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.

Q: Did you hear about the sophisticated blonde?

A: She thought her period was French Provincial.

Q: Did you hear about the conceited blonde?

A: She screams her own name when she comes.

Q: Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blonde's?

A: They take off their makeup.

Q: Why do blondes wear tight skirts?

A: To keep their legs together.

Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?

A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?

A: Her employer found out she was embezzling.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?

A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?

A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?

A: An IN-body experience.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who dropped out of nursing school?

A: She was doing great until she found out she would have to perform the Hymenlick Manuever.

Q: Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?

A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.

Q: Why do blonde's have TGIF on their shoes?

A: Toes Go In First.

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?

A: Tits Go In Front.

Q: What is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde?

A: Vaseline and poli-grip.

Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?

A: Some traffic signs say stop.

Q: How does a blonde part their hair?

A: By doing the splits.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shower?

A: A shower has to be turned on to get wet.

Q: What do a blonde and a good beer have in common?

A: They both go down easy.

Q: What was the blonde surgeon's claim to fame?

A: The world's first hemorrhoid transplant.

Q: What is a bellybutton for?

A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down.

Q: What is a blonde's only complaint about oral sex?

A: The lousy view.

Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?

A1: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

A2: Nothing. They've never met.

Q: What do you call two blondes standing on either side of a prostitute?

A: Support hoes.

Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde?

A: Bucket seats.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head?

A: Sweet fuck all.

Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?

A: She can't say "No."

Q: Why do blonde's wear tampons?

A: Because crabs like bungie jumping too.

Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?

A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's . . .

Q: What did the blonde's dentist find?

A: Teeth in the cavity.

Q: How do you know whether or not the blonde you slept with last night gave you a good blow-job?

A: The sheets are sucked up your ass.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?

A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before having sex?

A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate.

Q: How do you know a blonde did your landscaping?

A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball?

A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

Q: What did the blonde say when she woke up under a cow?

A: What are you guys still doing here?

Q: What do blondes and turtles have in common?

A: Once they're on their back, they're screwed.

Q: Why did god give blondes 2% more brains than horses?

A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?

A: Who knows? There is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.

Q: Why do blonde's have two more brain cells than a cow ?

A1: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.

A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.

Q: What is 74 to a Blonde?

A: 69 plus GST.

Q: How do you tell when a Blonde reaches orgasm?

A: She drops her nail-file.

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?

A: Remove their underwear.

Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?

A: So they know when to stop having sex.

Q: What did the blonde say during a porno?

A: "There I am!"

Q: How does a blonde prepare for safe sex?

A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.

Q: Why couldn't the Virgin Mary have been blonde?

A: Because then she would have been just 'Mary.'

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is horny?

A: Stick your hand down her panties. If it feels like a horse eating oats, she's horny.

Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?

A: Who cares.

Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?

A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."

Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?

A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?

A: They can't find the zipper.

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